Wondering who lives behind this blog?  My name is Shannon Manning.  I was born and raised as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, more popularly known as the LDS Church or the Mormons.  I am 42, female, and single in a church where the traditional nuclear family is the ideal experience or, as we refer to it, the fundamental unit of the church.  That means my experience has largely been as someone who does not fit the fundamental organizing principle of the church.

But I want to be clear that I do not have a problem with the church’s doctrine, its emphasis on the traditional nuclear family, or the fact that I don’t “belong” in the superficial sense of belonging–the sense that my circumstances need to be the same as everyone else’s in order for me to belong.

I very much belong to the community of the church at all levels because my faith is centered in Jesus Christ as my savior and redeemer.  I have a firm testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ as revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith and all the prophets that have followed him, as well as to all the prophets who preceded him.  I believe in my Heavenly Father’s plan, not just for his children generally but also for me specifically.  That means I trust that he knows what I need and want, he is aware of the circumstances of my life, and he means for me to be happy, not just in “the next life” (the life after death) but in this life.  He means for me to be happy right now, single or married, mother or childless.  Or, for that matter, in any of the other many circumstances real people encounter while living real lives in the context of a faith that demands the commitment of their whole selves and every blessing, talent, physical capability, relationship, educational opportunity, or challenge they have been given.  For whatever reason, that means, for now, that I need to face life on my own and learn what I can from the experience.

I am happy.  Happy in the deepest sense.  I frequently experience loneliness, frustration, grief, impatience, and a full spectrum of other emotions and feelings that mark a life well-lived.  So do my other single friends.  So do my married friends.  So do my family members whose lives have taken the more well-traveled path. But I know who I am (as well as anyone can).  I know why I’m here.  I know what I want out of life.  I experience great moments of joy.  I have fun with my friends and family.  I engage in work that challenges me and keeps expanding my knowledge and skills.  I have opportunities to serve others.  I get to travel whenever time and funds allow.  I am frequently the recipient of service from friends both in and out of the church.  I have meaningful relationships and varied interests and such incredible abundance both physical and spiritual that I find it hard to believe I have been so richly blessed.

I also encounter well-meaning people who say hurtful things when trying to be helpful.  I encounter not-so-well-meaning people who make condescending assumptions about who I am and decide that being single is somehow an indication that I am less worthy, not whole as a person, or lack maturity. (And often I in turn judge those people as being lacking in some way, so there’s that whole mote/beam problem rearing its ugly head.)

I am often short-sighted and self-absorbed and inclined to focus on what I don’t have rather than what I do.  I have come to realize that most people at some time, in some way, feel like they live on the outside.  The gospel is about reaching for ideals, and we all inevitably fall short.  But I would rather reach for ideals and fall short than stop reaching.  And this gospel embodies the ideals that I believe are most important for all of us.

Did you want some more earth-bound details about me?  I currently live in Utah, where I was born, grew up, and graduated from high school.  I have a degree in English literature from a small liberal arts university in the Pacific Northwest.  I lived and worked in Washington, D.C., for several years, and I still work as a communications professional for a public affairs firm headquartered there (one reason I love the Internet–I can live in Utah and work in Washington).  I have been a teacher, a freelance editor, a cashier, a waitress, and a shrinkwrapper, among other things.  I have two brothers and a sister, all married with children.  Some of their children are now married with children, so I have an abundance of nieces and nephews of all ages.  I love being the cool aunt.

My last serious relationship–since “single” is in the name of the blog–was four years ago.  He was a good man, a divorced father of two dealing with some fairly heavy burdens of his own.  Things did not end well for several reasons, at least some of them my fault. At the time of writing this, I am still working myself up to re-entering the dating scene in any significant way.

The Oregon Coast may be my favorite place on earth (so far–there are a lot of places I haven’t been yet), and I might settle there eventually.  For now, I have parents who are nearing the end of their earthly existence; I enjoy a wonderful relationship with them and the great privilege of helping them through the challenges of this phase of their lives, so Utah will be home for the foreseeable future.  That pretty much brings this full circle.

If you want to know something about me that this monologue didn’t answer, please feel free to ask.  I can’t guarantee I’ll answer, but you can always ask.